An Early Morning Gem

I feel:: amused

Here are a series of promises that really speak to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I
get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.

Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.

Infected

I feel:: cranky


I went to the doctor, finally, today. It's official. I'm officially sick. I have: a sinus infection, bronchitis and Eustachian tube dysfunction (which means I'm well on my way to an ear infection). Yay. I'm going to fail all my classes from being sick all the time. First, I broke my tailbone and now this. I'm not in a very optimistic mood at the moment.

Geniuses

I feel:: amused
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: Enya~Paint The Sky With Stars

On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A Presidential candidate from Texas.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."l Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Dilemma

I feel:: bitchy

Should I attempt to drag my sick, smelly,coughing, sweaty, dizzy, pathetic self to French class this morning? Or should I go back to bed? I've missed all week except for Monday. That was my first day. I know if I go back to bed, I won't be able to sleep, because of the constant coughing. I've got all this junk in my chest that is making me wheeze. Last night, I had to sleep propped up on 3 pillows (I use the word "sleep" very loosely). I kept waking up about every hour with a coughing spasm. I think I only got like 3 hours of sleep all told. And yeah, I'm whiny and bitchy this morning because I feel like shit. I have an extra symptom to add to the list today: completely swollen sinuses. Someone please put me out of my misery.

Like A Lame Horse I Should Just Be Put Out of My Misery

I feel:: sick

I'm sick. Dammit. It all hit me today. WHAMMO! Fever, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, coughing, no appetite, nausea, weakness, shaking, dizziness, ears stopped up, achey, fatigued but can't sleep, sweating, chills, and throat hurting too much to talk. Not to mention that I started my period yesterday and today I feel like my uterus is being ripped from my body.

What I've eaten today: ice cream. I couldn't tolerate anything else because swallowing is too painful.

I started loading up on herbs and minerals yesterday. I wonder how much worse I would feel if I didn't take supplements. Scary. If I don't feel better tomorrow I'm going to the doctor.

I'll be sleeping with Dr. Nyquil tonight.

Ants In My Pants

I feel:: frustrated

Last night, when I was putting away laundry, I picked up a shirt to fold and noticed some ants on my leg. I thought, "What the hell?" I unfolded the shirt and there were ants all over it. I looked down and they were all in my bed. Then, I looked down at the floor and they were crawling on the carpet. I freaked out and spent the next 3 or so hours with a high powered flashlight sitting in the floor of my room going through every piece of laundry and scouring the carpet and my bed looking for ants. Every few minutes my dad would hear,"You little fucker!" or "Die you sonofabitch!" from my room. He yelled at me from his recliner in the living room,"What are you doing?" I stuck my head out of my bedroom door at the end of the hall and yelled back,"There's ants all over my laundry and my bed and the floor!" He said,"Ants? Really?" I yelled,"Yeah, really." followed by another blurt of,"Die you little fucker!" (I was picking them up one by one with my fingers and crushing them. The cursing seemed to just add a little flourish to it and helped me vent my frustration at the invasion of the little shits.) I don't know how they got into my room or why. There's no food in there at all. So, why are they in there? This morning, I woke up to find one crawling on my cheek and now I have an ant bite there. I also have ant bites between my first and second finger on my right hand, on the backs of both legs and down the outside of my left arm. What the fuck? I'm contemplating a nuclear attack at this moment. I called the pest company and someone is supposed to come out and spray. I hope he brings some fuckin' agent orange to wipe those little sonsobitches out.

In other news, my little precious gigi kitten is having her first heat. *sigh* I have to take her to get fixed on Monday.

Edit: The pest man called and said that the earliest he can be here is next Tuesday? What the hell am I supposed to do until then? By the time he gets here, I'll be one big itchy welt. Dammitdammitdammitdammit.

Personality Quiz Based On Color (Otherwise Known As Lazy Blogging)

I feel:: anxious
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: Blue October~The Answer

Your Existing Situation
Needs warm companionship, but is intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to her. If this is not forthcoming, is liable to shut herself away from them.

Your Stress Sources
The situation is regarded as threatening or dangerous. Outraged by the thought that she will be unable to achieve her goals and distressed at the feeling of helplessness to remedy this. Over-extended and feels beset, possibly to the point of nervous prostration.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.
The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but tends to hold aloof emotionally.

Your Desired Objective
Needs a change in her circumstances or in her relationships which will permit relief from stress. Seeking a solution which will open up new and better possibilities and allow hopes to be fulfilled.

Your Actual Problem
Agitation, unpredictability, and irritation accompanying depleted vitality and intolerance of further demands have all placed her in a position in which she feels menaced by her circumstances. Feeling powerless to remedy this by any action of her own, she is desperately hoping that some solution will provide a way of escape.

It's freaky how right on this is. When I was reading the results, I started to get all shaky.
Am I egocentric? I didn't think I was, but I guess that's what being depressed is because you can't see anything but you're own problems. *sigh* I hate that part of myself.
Oh, here's the link if anyone is interested in taking it themselves: www.colorquiz.com

Some People Need A Good Bitch Slap

I feel:: cranky

Saturday night, Tanya and I went to see Brandon McGovern and the Scrappers again at Midtown. Their lead guitarist, Kevin, didn't show up and no one in the band knew why because there had been no contact from him. Turns out, he was in town at his hotel, but he was sick with something like the stomach flu.

Tanya and I got all dressed up in our retro/rockabilly outfits. Let me just say that we looked damn good. The only problem with that is when you look good, you sometimes attract the attention of people that you would rather not talk to. The same guys that were so spun out of their minds last Friday night, sat with us again this Friday night univited. Last week, they were so geeked out that they were grinding their teeth. This week, they were so unbelievably trashed. They wouldn't leave our table when we asked them to and got so beligerent that Tanya had to go get one of the bouncers at the club to make them move. Even then, they still were unwilling to leave us alone.

Finally, they moved away from our table, much to my relief. I left at around 2:45am. I foolishly thought that I would be able to get up for church. After I got in my car and had driven a good ways home, I realized that I had forgotten to close out my tab at the bar, so I had to turn around and go back. By the time I got back to Midtown, it was a little after 3:00am. I went inside and told Thomas, one of the bartenders, that I wanted to close out. As I stood and waited for him to run my credit card, this random woman walked toward me, smiling drunkenly and raisng her hand. I thought at first that she wanted to shake my hand, so I turned toward her, but instead of shaking my hand, she grabbed my breast. She didn't just lay her hand on me, she groped me. My first instinct was to raise my arm to push hers away from me, which I did and almost backhanded her across the face in the process. She backed away from me, out of striking range, and said,"You have beautiful breasts." I stood there, incredulous, and stared at her. Eventually, she turned and walked back to whomever she was talking with before she accosted me. I finally, got my bill and signed off on it. I was still stunned as I walked across the street and onto the parking lot towards my car. I noticed a car pass behind me on the street and pull into the parking lot just as I crossed it. I turned to look, because I always want to know who is behind me in a deserted parking lot at 3:30am, and saw that it was a man whom I had met briefly last Friday night.

He had been sitting in the booth in front of where Tanya and I were sitting. He turned completely around and shoved his hand out for me to shake and introduced himself. I shook his hand and he rubbed my palm with his thumb and had this weird look on his face like he was sexually aroused. I yanked my hand away quickly and refused to look at him for the rest of the night. Friday night, actually early Saturday morning, he stopped his car, rolled down his window and called to me. I turned around, saw who it was and heard him tell me to come closer. I stood where I was, which was about 5 or so feet from his car and thought to myself,"Fuck you, mister." Instead, I said angrily, "What do you want?" He said, "I just wanted to tell you that you look really good. I've been watching you all night." I said quietly,"Thanks" and turned to walk to my car. He said something else to me, but I didn't hear it because my back was turned. There was no way I was going to stand in the parking lot of Midtown alone at 3:30 in the morning talking to some creepy stalker. What am I, flypaper for freaks?

[rant]And, I just want to say, for the record, that I know I have ginormous breasts. I can't help it that they are big. They just grew that way. I don't cotton to people groping me or stating something obvious like,"Those things are huge!" While I appreciate compliments, I don't appreciate leering, groping and stalking. The next person that gropes me will get a right hook to the jaw. [/rant]

Hummingbird Pizza

I feel:: horny
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: something by VAST

I am, at the moment:

tired
frustrated
lovesick
anxious
in pain (my back, my heart)
lonely
randy

I think that about sums it up.

One last thing, Tanya and I saw the most amazing thing earlier tonight outside of Pizza D'Action. We were leaving and walking by the hedgerow and I saw what I thought was a HUGE flying bug. I turned to Tanya, on the verge of freak out because bugs wig me out, and said,"Holy shit! That things is enormous! What kind of bug is that?" She looked at it for a moment and replied,"I don't think it's a bug." Pause. "It's a...It's a....It's a..."
Then someone pulled the chain of my mental light bulb and I blurted out,"Hummingbird!". As I was blurting out my new found discovery, Tanya voiced hers as well. If you can imagine that in stereo. It was pretty funny, but what's funnier is that we just stood there and watched it flit around. We were in awe of it. It flew so close to us. Like only a few inches away. One time, it even flew right into Tanya's foot. I've never been that close to a hummingbird before. I also didn't know that they even came out at night. How weird is that? As we started to walk towards Tanya's car, still watching the hummingbird intently, this random girl walked by and looked at us like we were on drugs. Well, we had been drinking Red Bull, so we were pretty uhhhhh...geeked.

I Hitched My Toe Out And Fell

I feel:: crazy

Wow, Friday night was a trip. I'm still reeling. I didn't sleep very much because I couldn't get him out of my mind. I kept replaying the things he said and did like movie scenes. Estaba muy, muy sincero. My heart was taken aback and all I could do was let that wave break over me. He left me standing at my car wanting to call out his name, but instead I just watched him walk away. Today, I don't really know what to do. I don't have any way to get in touch with him, but he has my number. I've known him for 16 years. God, I care about him so much. I'm all tied up in knots and I can't stop wanting to see him. It's not even lust. It's...pain. I prayed for him all night last night and I broke down crying for over an hour because I love him so much and I don't want to mess up his life with my craziness. He's got his share of problems too and basically, told me Friday night that he didn't want to mess up my life with the craziness of his.
Last night Tanya and I went to Midtown and I couldn't even fully enjoy myself because I kept looking for him to walk through the door at any minute so I could rush him and cover him with hugs and kisses. Friday night, he held me and kissed me on my shoulder. I can still feel the weight of it. I swooned when he did that. If he had not had his arms around me I would have lost my balance.
WHAT THE HELL?!

EDIT: I realize that this post is too confusing for words. I apologize for that. I'm so emotional right now. This is something I'm not used to and I don't know how to deal with it.