I Love Jesus But....

Full Metal Christmas

A Little Monday Morning Giggle

What Do You Get?

Shite Shite And More Shite

I got this from Pippa. She's funny like that and I really needed to snort and cackle like the booger picking 5th grader I really am.


Shit Be Gone - The World's Coolest Toilet Paper
Shit Be Gone cleans up your unpleasantries like a champion among toilet paper. How funny would it be to have this sitting in your bathroom during a party, or when your Aunt Vivi stops by? Come on. This is awesome. This is pure fifth-grade-humor hilarity.

Shit Be Gone toilet paper is pillow soft and 100% recycled. Also, it's 2-ply, so it's tough enough to handle your messiest jobs without tearing or falling apart. This isn't a cheap gag toilet paper. This is the real thing. Actual quality. You could use this stuff every day.

Stock up on Shit Be Gone for your office supply cabinet! Watch your co-workers come rolling of of the bathroom, laughing so hard they can't even use it.

Here at Isdera Corp. we have Shit Be Gone in the executive bathrooms. Actually, this would be true if we had executive bathrooms, we just have two bathrooms. We have a ladies room and a filthy men's room. We use ShitBegone in both of them, although the men's room seems to use much more of it.

ShitBegone. Because it has to go somewhere.

500 2-ply sheets per roll.

This is real tp. You can order it here: ShitBeGone

This reminds me of a story I heard a few years ago (because everything reminds me of a story). A few years ago a product came out called WeedBeGone (betting that's where ShitBeGone got the idea). As it happened, around that time I was in a church service where the pastor was talking about the WeedBeGone product in his sermon. He was saying that if we only could look at the Devil the same way we do weeds then we could just tell him to "Be Gone!" in Jesus' name. A few weeks after that sermon, I was with my boyfriend at the time, Micheal, at a little get-together over at the house of a couple who were friends of his. They had a little boy who was around 4 years old. After dinner, the boy disappeared into the back yard and after he was gone awhile and everyone was looking for him, we heard from the back yard, "Fear Be Gone!" repeated over and over. We all went outside to see the 4-year-old standing right next to the fence of their neighbor's yard (who had a big dog that the boy was afraid of) pointing accusingly at their dog and yelling, "Fear Be Gone!" He said he learned it from listening to the pastor's sermon at church. I guess in the mind of a 4-year-old, the big dog next door is the Devil.

Wouldn't it just be really funny if someone took that principle to the bathroom? This is exactly what I thought of when I saw the ShitBeGone toilet paper. Having spent some time in the "name it claim it" churches, I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried to banish their shit in Jesus' name. I just want to see it on You Tube.

Fuzzy Diet

(clickety click for the bigger version)

Hey Jude

korean baby singing hey jude

TGIF (No, Really)

"I'm not crazy,M'Lynn. I've just been in a very bad mood for forty years!"
~~Shirley Maclaine~Steel Magnolias

My Vowels Exploded

Animator vs. Animation

Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding

This made me laugh so hard that I snorted!

To Funny Not To Post

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has
got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For
now...

Rumsfeld Makes Origami And Other Flammables

Oh my god, y'all this made me cackle.



All thanks to Poet With A Day Job for putting it up.

Pimp My Album Cover

Oh my God....I can't breathe. This was the first thing I saw upon getting settled into my bigcomfychair with my coffee this morning. Oh hell man, I'm still crying from looking at those. All thanks to Incurable Hippie for hooking me up with that link. Girl, let me tell you something: I don't know where you find these links you do, but everytime I go to your blog I wind up smiling/laughing.

Some of my faves:











































Jesus.

Safe Flight, Y'all

Can't Stop Laffin'

Totally nicked from The Queer Chef.

Psychology In (And Of) The Men's Restroom

I feel:: mischievious


This is completely inappropriate and; therefore, completely hysterical.