I Will Not Eat The Darkness

Function 7

My newest fractal. (Clicky clicky for a larger image!)

Scribble Flame (Wordless Wednesday)

I found some new software (freeware to be precise) with which to make my beloved fractals. I'm excited about it. The software I used to make this is called Apophysis. I put the link in my sidebar as well. It's not as detailed as Ultra Fractal and you can't do as many things with the designs, but they are based on different types of basic fractal forms: the flames. I have never seen these before, so I'm pretty excited about it. Now, if I can find a way to export one of these flames to my Ultra Fractal I'll be ecstatic. Here's the first flame fractal I made: (click to get a larger version of this)

I also found out just tonight from a website I found that you can make fractals into music. I'm going to have to try that out.

Last week, I finally made it down to Southern Reprographics and talked to Joe, who I used to go to church with and who does the digital art there, about getting my fractals rendered from disk to canvas. He said that would be no problem and that it would only cost me $8 per square foot of canvas. Of course I'll have to get the canvas stretched before I can sell it, but I think I'm making good progress. I'm also encouraged, which is something I haven't been in a long time.

Labels: fractals, my art, navel gazing, Wordless Wednesday

NO PSYCHOS ALLOWED!!!

All I ask for from people who are in my life is a little non-psyho-ness. It seems as though I am a magnet for it, however. The guy I mistakenly had sex with a couple of weeks ago is getting all psycho on me. He calls me and tries to tell me things he said that he never did. Like he'll try to convince me we had a full conversation about something when I know for damn sure that we didn't. Tonight he called me and insisted that he asked me out for coffee yesterday and I refused. I haven't talked to him (other than tonight) since Sunday. I don't know what he's trying to do and he's freaking me out a little. (I kind of feel like he's trying to pull a "crazy" on the crazy girl. That's not going to work. Hello.) He's being a manipulative SOB; I know that for sure. I never should have gotten involved with him in any way.

What I want to know is this: What is it about me that makes guys turn psycho? Or are they already that way and I'm too blind to see it? This is not the first time some guy has gotten all weird. What's the deal? Is it my fault?

On a happier note, I have two interviews tomorrow for positions that are about 10 and 11 dollars an hour. It's not great money, but it's not bad money either. It's enough for me to support myself and that's really all I need. I feel like I need some security so that I can start feeling safe. Right now, safe is not the word I would use for the way I feel. I feel very un-safe. Unstable.

I'm also going to show my artwork to the lady at the local shop tomorrow, so maybe I'll have something positive to report on that front. That's really my dream is to make my living with my creativity. In whatever form it happens to come.

Goin' to bed.

Labels: fractals, health, my art, navel gazing