Waiting on My Car to be Fixed, Funny Daughter Things and Thoughts on Medication Side Effects.

It's 9:30am on a Wednesday morning and I'm sitting here at my mother's house with my daughter waiting for my car. I took it to the local mechanic about an hour ago because the brakes sounded like the pads had been worn down. When I would press the brake pedal harder than normal, for instance if I had to stop quickly, I would hear this sound like grinding metal on metal. This is so not good, especially considering that my car is only two years old. I'm actually afraid to call them back and hear what the damage is to my bank account. A couple of nights ago, my daughter and I had just gotten home from running errands for my mom and I had just gotten situated in my favorite chair in the living room and had flipped on the tv. The movie Hercules was on (the newer one with Dwayne Johnson) and the in the scene a bunch of soldiers were chanting "HER-CU-LES! HER-CU-LES!". My daughter heard it and started chanting, "FIGHT YER PEACH! FIGHT YER PEACH!". I was so tired that I collapsed in a fit of giggles. It actually reminded me of when I was a little girl hearing songs on the radio that my mother listened to and hearing the lyrics all wrong. I would sing the Creedence Clearwater Revival song 'Bad Moon on the Rise' as 'Bathroom on the Right' and the song lyric from 'Blinded By the Light' where the man sings "wrapped up like a deuce" as "wrapped up like a douche". It's funny what kids hear and interpret. I had my first appointment with my new pain doctor about a week ago. The reason I'm seeing a pain doctor is that after I had an MRI in June, my doctor told me that I have two 40 degree curves in my spine (Scoliosis), disc degeneration, disc slippage which is pressing my spinal nerve and spondylitis (which is basically inflammation of the tissue which connects the discs in the spine). I've been having pain radiating down my arms and legs, and pain in my back and neck from all of this. Sometimes I can barely walk. I've started to have to use those scooters at the grocery store because I find lately that I can't stand and/or walk long enough to shop. Anyway, my new pain doc prescribed for me Lyrica and a muscle relaxer called Zanaflex. I told her during the appointment that I knew that one of the side effects of Lyrica was weight gain so she put me on the lowest dose to start out and told me to monitor my weight closely. I've been on 50mg a day for about a week now and I've already gained 5lbs. I recently lost 40lbs and was hoping to lose about 60 more so that I could avoid back surgery so this 5lb weight gain, although not a significant amount, is disappointing especially since it happened in so short an amount of time. I've been hungry constantly. Not the kind of hungry where you think, "I'm kind of hungry. I think I'll fix something to eat." No. It's more like, "I have to eat NOW or I'm going to vomit.". Here is a list of side effects from Lyrica according to WebMd: LYRICA Side Effects List Lyrica side effects by likelihood and severity. The following side effects are associated with Lyrica: Common side effects of Lyrica: Blurred Vision -Severe Drowsiness -Severe Fluid Retention in the Legs, Feet, Arms or Hands -Severe Uncoordinated -Severe Weight Gain -Severe Cannot Focus Thoughts -Less Severe Dizzy -Less Severe Dry Mouth -Less Severe Infrequent side effects of Lyrica: Confused -Severe Decreased Blood Platelets -Severe Infection -Severe Inflammation of the Lining of the Stomach and Intestines -Severe Puffy Face from Water Retention -Severe Sensation of Spinning or Whirling -Severe Extreme Sense of Well Being -Less Severe Feeling Weak -Less Severe Head Pain -Less Severe Incomplete or Infrequent Bowel Movements -Less Severe Injury -Less Severe Sinus Irritation and Congestion -Less Severe Stomach Cramps -Less Severe Twitching -Less Severe Rare side effects of Lyrica: Chest Pain -Severe Difficulty Speaking -Severe Double Vision -Severe Giant Hives -Severe Having Thoughts of Suicide -Severe Hemorrhage of Blood Under the Skin -Severe Hives -Severe Low Blood Sugar -Severe Middle Ear Infection -Severe Muscle Spasm -Severe Pink EyeSevere Problem Behavior -Severe Problems with Bladder Control -Severe Prolonged P-R Interval observed on EKG -Severe Rash -Severe Reaction due to an Allergy -Severe Ringing in the Ears -Severe Small Skin Blister -Severe Trouble Breathing -Severe Visible Water Retention -Severe Voluntary Movement Difficulty -Severe Wheezing -Severe Abnormal Increase in Muscle Tone -Less Severe Abnormal Manner of Walking -Less Severe Altered Interest in Having Sexual Intercourse -Less Severe Anxious -Less Severe Backache -Less Severe Bronchitis -Less Severe Diarrhea -Less Severe Enlarged Breasts -Less Severe Feel Like Throwing Up -Less Severe Fever -Less Severe Fingernail and/or Toenail Disease -Less Severe Flu-Like Symptoms -Less Severe Frequent Urination -Less Severe Gas -Less Severe Inability to have an Erection -Less Severe Increased Hunger -Less Severe Involuntary Eye Movement -Less Severe Involuntary Quivering -Less Severe Itching -Less Severe Joint Pain -Less Severe Leg Cramps -Less Severe Loss of Memory -Less Severe Loss of One's Own Sense of Reality or Identity -Less Severe Low Energy -Less Severe Muscle Pain -Less Severe Muscle Weakness -Less Severe Nervous -Less Severe Numbness -Less Severe Problems with Eyesight -Less Severe Stupor -Less Severe Swelling of the Abdomen -Less Severe Throwing Up -Less Severe Looking at this list, I already have several of these side effects: increased hunger, swollen abdomen, puffy face, water retention, nausea, drowsiness and some others that are too embarrassing to mention. I'm going to have to rethink taking this. I don't think the side effects are worth it, especially the weight gain. I need more weight on me like I need a hole in the head.


What I Have Been Up To (The Expedited Version)

Well, just a very short "What Have I Been Up To" post. The last time I posted was in either 2010 or 2011. Let's just say that time sucked. I can't go into details. Now, however, 4 to 5 years later, I'm in a much better place AND I have a daughter who is the light of my life. I don't have internet right now, so any updates will most likely be few and far between as I have to either go to the library or borrow someone's internet. I don't know how many people still follow me, but if you do, please let me know you are still here by leaving me a comment. Comments are love! Gotta go for now.


Tuesday Afternoon Tunes


Fireflight-Stand Up



Sunday's Secret on Monday



Secret Sunday



The Valleys Ain't So Great

On Wednesday, my boss told me that she no longer needed me to do the Runner job at the car dealership where I work. She said that there wasn't enough for me to do and that I was spending to much time idle. You know how sometimes when someone lies to you, you have that experience where you know immediately that you are being lied to? I had that experience Wednesday. I was so mad that I couldn't speak. I just grabbed my stuff out of my desk while slamming the drawers shut and rushed downstairs to my part-time switchboard operator that I still have (thank God). When I got down there to relieve the full-time switchboard operator she took one look at me and knew that something was wrong. She asked me if I was ok and I said no that I was definitely not ok. Then, she hightailed it out of the dealership. Then, I broke down in tears. I can't believe they did that to me.
Here's the thing: The office upstairs has 5 people, not including the owner's daughter and my boss. One of these people is the title clerk who is about 70. He NEVER does any work. He plays Solitaire and Hearts on his computer mostly and talks on his cellphone. On the odd occasion he does actually do some work, he makes so many mistakes that it takes someone else extra time to fix them when it isn't even that person's job. Now, I don't have a prejudice against old people at all. It's just that I don't understand why the dealership keeps paying him NOT to work. I talked to one of my best friends about all of this (as it happens she works with me and is the one who has to correct all of the title clerk's mistakes) and she seems to think that my boss will have him doing the work he was supposed to be doing, mistakes and all, AND my job as well. Tell me how a 70-year-old man is supposed to work two jobs? My dad is nearly 70 and he can barely walk without assistance. I don't think that's fair to him and I think it will probably make him sick, since our immune systems gradually decrease in effectiveness as we grow older. It's also not fair to me. My boss told me that I spend too much of my time "idle", which is total bullshit. I had so much to do with that job that I barely got to take a lunch. To clarify: the Runner's job at the car dealership where I work is the person who personally takes messages, bills, bank deposit runs and basically whatever else anyone in the dealership needs. I would routinely take the bank deposits (hella large sums of money) and go to the store for office supplies, go to the lawyer's office etc... THEN, when I wasn't running around in the Runner car doing errands, I had mountains of paperwork to file. My lunch was usually taken in the car on my way to or from somewhere. One day I spent 2 hours at the damn DMV because of Old Man Title Clerk and then had to go back that same day because of the mistake he made. He also sent me 30 minutes out of town on an errand to the WRONG PLACE. So, to say I was "idle" is clearly a gross understatement.
I fucking HATE office politics. I don't know why people can't just come to work, do their damn jobs and go home. It seems like every time I get a job I actually like it turns to shit because of this. Am I cursed or what?

Also, yesterday, I had to go to my dad's apartment because he said he wanted me to take this stray cat he had sort of adopted to the Humane Society. Evidently, the cat (non-neutered male) had gotten into a fight with either a cat or a dog and had gotten pretty messed up. When I saw him, I thought one of his back legs was broken and he had open sores on his neck. Going back a bit, this cat had pretty much always had open sores on his neck. They would start to heal and then somehow get opened up again. I told my dad to put some antibiotic ointment on it, but his hands shake so much that he really couldn't do it. He refused to get the cat any vet care. His excuse was that he thought the cat was going to die anyway. I couldn't believe that he took the cat in but refused it any medical help. He just sat in his recliner and watched the cat deteriorate day-by-day. I tried to take it to the Humane Society, but they wouldn't even let me inside the building. One of the gardeners when inside and came out with a little piece of paper with some numbers on it that he said were other organizations that could help me. I called every number and no one answered their phones. I left voicemails, but I knew that the cat needed immediate medical attention. So, I called the Animal Services center, knowing that if they couldn't/wouldn't help him that they would put him to sleep. When I got there, they made me sign some paperwork that I later realized was for me to surrender him to them. A man took him back to the vet and then a different man came back and gave me back my cat carrier and then was just going to walk away. I stopped him and asked him what the vet said. He told me that the vet thought the cat either had Feline HIV (FIV) or Feline Leukemia and that they couldn't afford to let it spread though their kennels so they were going to put him down. I didn't think that was very fair to the cat, but since I had already surrendered him, there was nothing I could do about it. I cried and cried and cried. I gave myself a fever being so upset. I got a call back later on that day from one of the other organizations I had called and the lady I spoke with told me that FIV and Leukemia were treatable in cats and that they usually lived a long time with that treatment. That started a new wave of crying. I felt so bad for letting them kill that cat. I realize that it might have been the humane thing to do considering that my dad wouldn't have taken the cat back even if he had gotten healthy and considering his health he would have been very hard to place in a home, but I still felt like a monster for doing that. I spent all afternoon in my room yesterday and I turned my phone off. Eventually, I called my dad back and told him what had happened. I also told him never to ask me to do that again. It might seem silly to be so upset over a cat, especially one that wasn't mine, but I can't help it.

I guess bad things happen in threes just like that old saying.

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Secret Sunday

I don't have a husband. I had a boyfriend, but you get the picture.