14.3.08

Sad Boobs And Big-Girl Panties


Why is it that nearly every women's clothing retailer doesn't cater at all to so-called "plus-size" women? Why is it that nearly all "plus-size" clothing is so ugly and unflattering that vomit on plaid would look better?

Yeah. I went shopping yesterday. I felt like I needed a few things to add to my wardrobe for future interviews and hopefully a future job. I also thought I needed some retail therapy. I thought wrong. I went first to Target. Mistake. Nothing fit and if it did fit it was so unbelievably horrid...I don't have the words. Plus, there was some construction (I'm assuming that's what it was.) going on in the back of the store. Every few minutes there would be this super loud noise like a drill (I felt like it was drilling into my skull.) and a bunch of yee-haw sounding guys yelling at each other about what they were "fixin'" to do. Did that up my anxiety level? Yeppers. Did that make it easier to get out my uber-fine-toothed comb to plow through all of the hideousness that is the plus-size section? Nope. Did that make it any easier for this depression addled, eating disorder prone woman to look at herself half naked in the dressing room mirror which was flooded with that icky flourescent light? Nope. Nope. Nope. Did I leave Target swearing that not only would I never darken their door again but also never eat again? Yep.

My mantra for yesterday: Food is bad.
Then I went and got ice cream.

I continued to torture myself after Target and went to Penney's hoping to find a bra that would fit me. Now, let's be clear here. I wear a 38-40 DDD. At Penney's, I found all of two (count 'em TWO) bras in my size in the whole lingerie area. Plus, I found a strapless number I thought I would try on just for shits and giggles. Nowadays, most clothing and whatnot have those little exploding ink thingies attatched to them to prevent people from walking out with them. Well, the strapless bra I tried to try on had one of those too. I tried (I kid you not.) for 15 minutes to get that damn bra on. I worked myself into a lather trying to do it. Finally, I just sat down on the little shelf in the dressing room they try to pass off as a place to rest. So, I tried the other ones. They were so tight, I thought my boobs were going to choke me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for NOT having the "do your boobs hang low" look, but I don't want them all up in my neck either. I guess the insensitivity to people larger than average size extends all the way down to bras and panties. I had to get one though, because the bras that I have are not only too small but they make my boobs look sad. I can't have sad boobs. I'd rather have the pointy dangerous boobs. So, I got the boobs-in-my-neck bra.

So, to borrow a phrase from Girl, Dislocated, it was a big girl panty day yesterday (she says "put on your big girl panties and deal with it"). Aside from the fiasco that was shopping, I had several crying jags while driving around in my car and I brought some ice cream to one of my best friends while she was at work, but it turned out she was in a meeting and the ice cream melted before I could give it to her.
Yay.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Girl, Dislocated said...

Those fluorescently lit dressing room mirrors will make even a super model look bad. They are evil!!!

I'm sorry you had a big girl panty day, I hope tomorrow is a regular panty day, and I hope you find a retailer that actually knows how to make bras and clothing!

March 14, 2008 10:22 PM  
Anonymous gel (emerald eyes) said...

Hi A,
It was great to hear from you after all this time! I had wondered what happend to you.
Tough and frustrating for your lingerie search. Target is not known for plus size nor sizes at the other end of the curvacious spectrum. (My daughters are narrow but curvacious so they needed a 32, but most places only carry a 32 AA,A or 32 B, if you're VERY lucky, and 32 C is almost impossible to find, but persistent GEL did find ONE in the back of of a rack, jammed among a ton of bras, while I was balancing on the floor of Kohl's. (I truly think they ordered it by accident.)

Thank goodness it was not mismarked. I hate when that happens!

You can order it, but then you have to pay extra for shipping and checking out the fit. Oh, it's a pain! JC PENNY used to be a good place to order bras and USEd to have 32 C; I am not certain, but I'm not sure if they still stock ONE style. You may want to check them out for the PLUS sizes or Macy's, that's supposed to be known for fitting women into their correct bra.

I think those places would cost less than finding any ole place on the net. Good luck! Stop by. There's a surprise......

Artistically,
Gel { * * }

March 21, 2008 5:31 AM  
Blogger Anais Nin said...

There's no Macy's here *cry*, but there is Lane Bryant. There's also a privately owned store called Barbara Graves that is well-known for fitting us women who bust out of most of our bras. The only thing is that most everything in that store is really expensive. The bra I got at Penney's is doing me ok. It's not great, but it's better than nothing. All my other bras are either too small or completely worn out.

March 24, 2008 7:15 PM  

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