My Name Is Mudd

I found out today that my student loans I had consolidated (a little over $41,000) have gone into default because I didn't know that they had been transferred from Sallie Mae to the Kentucky Higher Education Authority and even though I had already faxed in paperwork for an economic hardship deferrment. It turns out that the guy I talked to was just yanking my chain, because the Kentucky Higher Education Authority never got any such paperwork and when I read off the phone number to the lady I was talking to, she said that the area code for that fax number was in Pennsylvania.

I'm so upset, but I don't know whether to scream, cry, cut, eat, throw things or just get blind stinkin' drunk. I do have a new job making about 20K a year, but the $275 per month payments are going to really hurt me. I can barely afford to make it now. I'm going to have to get a second job or something. Christ...I don't know what to do.

I've also still got to deal with Sallie Mae for the rest of my loans (about $20,000) and they want $350 per month for those payments. At least that one isn't in default.

FUCK. ME. SIDEWAYS.

This has RUINED my whole day. I can do nothing but obsess about it. I was having such a good run at life there for awhile. I got this new job that I'm optimistic about and that I'm really good at; I know that I'm loved; my self-esteem has been up lately...Now, I feel like I've been slapped in the face. I feel like the universe yanked the rug out from under me.

I'm scared.