26.6.08

My Name Is Mudd



I found out today that my student loans I had consolidated (a little over $41,000) have gone into default because I didn't know that they had been transferred from Sallie Mae to the Kentucky Higher Education Authority and even though I had already faxed in paperwork for an economic hardship deferrment. It turns out that the guy I talked to was just yanking my chain, because the Kentucky Higher Education Authority never got any such paperwork and when I read off the phone number to the lady I was talking to, she said that the area code for that fax number was in Pennsylvania.

I'm so upset, but I don't know whether to scream, cry, cut, eat, throw things or just get blind stinkin' drunk. I do have a new job making about 20K a year, but the $275 per month payments are going to really hurt me. I can barely afford to make it now. I'm going to have to get a second job or something. Christ...I don't know what to do.

I've also still got to deal with Sallie Mae for the rest of my loans (about $20,000) and they want $350 per month for those payments. At least that one isn't in default.

FUCK. ME. SIDEWAYS.

This has RUINED my whole day. I can do nothing but obsess about it. I was having such a good run at life there for awhile. I got this new job that I'm optimistic about and that I'm really good at; I know that I'm loved; my self-esteem has been up lately...Now, I feel like I've been slapped in the face. I feel like the universe yanked the rug out from under me.

I'm scared.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Abbey said...

I wish I had words chick, all I can say is that f'n sucks...hope you have some way to minimise it...Is there anyone you can appeal to?

July 11, 2008 3:49 AM  
Blogger Anais Nin said...

Thanks Abbey. I hate that all of this happened, but it seems like things might be working out money-wise. In my new job, I get commissions for selling cars in addtion to my regular pay. Plus, when I make appointments with people and they show up, I get paid for that too. So, hopefully, if I continue to work my leads they will pay off for me in that month-end commission check and I won't have to get a second job. Already this month I've accumulated $160 in commissions (3 appointments and one sale). If I can get it to at least $300 per month (or more) I won't have to worry about coming up short because I'm having to pay that defaulted loan. If you believe in sending positive thoughts or energy or prayers, I'd love some of that!!
I feel more like I'm back to my positive frame of mind after that one day. Hopefully, it will continue. I like myself better this way.

July 13, 2008 2:49 PM  

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