Happy Birthday To Me

So, yesterday was my birthday. I'm 38 now. Funny how I don't feel any older. I just am. I've also begun lately to have these dreams again where I'm floating through people's houses I don't know. I know I'm not supposed to be there and the whole thing is exciting and terrible at the same time. I can remember having these same dreams as a child and wondered if I had slept-walked during the night and broken into other people's houses. Now, I think it's me taking a tour, so to speak, of the other parts of my personality (or personalities). When I was in therapy, all of my therapists discounted dreams as nothing more than the inane ramblings of the subconscious mind. I don't think so. I think some dreams can help you see into yourself and figure some things out. You just have to know which dreams to count as meaningful and which are not.

I've finally come out of my latest funk. The voices have calmed down quite a bit to where I can tell them to fuck off and they do. The biggest thing that helped me come out of it this time was that my best friend, Ashley, came over to help me clean my apartment. When I get really depressed, my apartment gets pretty bad. I don't wash the dishes, sweep, mop or anything. My apartment still isn't totally the way I want it, but at least the majority of it is clean and that makes me happy. I also got a Dyson Animal and Allergy vacuum for my birthday. That makes me happy too. Now, I can actually do something about all the cat hair that is all over my furniture and everything else in my apartment. I love my Dyson. It's heavy and hard to push and pull across the carpets I have, but it works like a dream. For me to be excited about anything regarding cleaning is a momentous occasion.

I've been turned on to a new kind of music that I love. It's called Fado. The only artists I've listened to so far are Mariza and Ana Moura. I'm totally in love with Fado. I'll be getting my hands on as much of it as possible.

It seems as though, for right now, fortune has chosen to smile on me. Although I don't yet have a job, I've been able to get new living room furniture thanks to my dad. My cats had ruined my other sofa due to their penchant for peeing on it. So, I couldn't sit on it and I wouldn't let anyone else sit on it. It was useless. I made the trip over to North Little Rock and found a store that had really nice furniture and a lot of it on sale. I got a mossy-green chaise lounge with a matching chair that you can put at the end of it or take off and move around; a neutral blue ottoman/coffee table and a blue/cream/tan/dark blue/white striped armless chair. I know it sounds like all that doesn't go together and that it would be atrocious to look at, but it's not. It looks great and I love it.

I'm also waiting, very impatiently, for an XBox 360 to arrive along with 3 or 4 games that I got for my birthday along with a little 13" Hello Kitty tv with dvd player. You could say that I pretty much got everything I wanted this birthday and more. It's hard not to sound materialistic here (I'm not really.). It's just that I've gone so long without having pretty things that don't smell like cat pee. I'm really excited to finally be able to sit in my living room and actually enjoy it.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, indeed! It's nice to get nice gifts, materialism be damned - things can make us happy, too, sometimes.

May 19, 2008 11:46 PM  
Blogger Anais Nin said...

Yes! I feel happy right now. I hope it lasts for awhile. I had a job interview on Friday for a billing clerk/receptionist position that feels promising. I hope the lady who interviewed me calls me in the next few days to tell me that I can work there.

I also had an interview for a state job that was set up by my dad. He has a friend who is the head of the Plant Division here and evidently they were discussing over drinks one night about the lack of a secretary in his friend's office. My dad, really not wanting to pay my bills anymore, told him that I really needed a job. So, I sent him my resume and filled out a state application. A month later, they called me for an interview. I have no idea whether or not I'm going to get that job. Usually I can feel people out during an interview and be able to tell at least whether or not they liked me, but I couldn't read these people to save my life. So, it's all hanging in the air right now. I hope something comes through for me.

May 20, 2008 1:21 AM  
Blogger Girl, Dislocated said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm really glad to read that you're coming out of your funk and that you have some new employment prospects. Keeping my fingers crossed for you! :)

May 22, 2008 11:22 AM  
Blogger Anais Nin said...

Thank you!!

May 22, 2008 11:52 PM  

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