I Hate Food.

I decided yesterday to start trying to get information on recovering from my eating disorders. I'm working on recovering from my depression and personality disorders, so why not the eating disorders, too? I'm just in the reading phase right now. I haven't decided what exactly to do yet. But this is a good step.

I bought a book called Runaway Eating by Cynthia M. Bulik, Ph.D. and Nadine Taylor M.S., R.D.

There was a checklist of things to look at in the book to help people see their disordered eating. Here's what I checked:

Your weight has dropped to an abnormally low point or risen to an anormally high point.

You divide foods or behaviors into clear-cut "good" or "bad" categories.

You eat a lot of noncalorie foods such as diet soft drinks, coffee, mustard, gum, or spices to satisfy your appetite.

You often use food to reward yourself.

Eating makes you feel guilty.

Yur weight seems to go up and down, with dramatic fluctuations of 10 pounds or more.

You always seem to be on a diet.

You worry about your body not being small enough, thin enough, or good enough.

You compare yourself physically with others and feel inferior.

You feel in control when you're at a weight that is abnormally low for you.

You often eat when you're not hungry.

You completely avoid certain foods like sugar or bread because they are "fattening."

You can't get through an entire day without worrying about what you can or can't eat.

You don't like your body.

You feel that happiness will elude you until you lose weight.

You are preoccupied with weight, food, diets, and calories.

You eat in secret.

You alternate between severly restricting your eating and eating large quantities of food.

You've dieted on and off for most of your life.

You're very afraid of gaining weight and becoming fat.

You often eat until you're uncomfortably full.

You've had an out-of-control eating binge at least one time in the past year.

You eat to make yourself feel better emotionally, but it ends up making you feel guilty and depressed.

You become anxious around food.


At the end of this list, depending on how many a person has checked, it gives basic conclusions about the warning signs of developing or mild eating disorders. Mine said, "In addition to using the self-help strategies in this book, see a physician or a mental health professional for help." Duh.