I've Only Ever Gotten One Valentine's Card With A Redneck Version Of "Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue"

When I was a freshman in high school, one of the senior football jocks had a crush on me. (I thought this was really weird because he was a "jock" and I was such a freak.) He used to come over to my house and we would sit on the front porch and he would talk about himself and I would pretend to listen. Then, eventually, he would ask for a kiss. I would say, "Only on the cheek". I would tell him to close his eyes and lean in toward me. Instead of kissing him, I would raise my arm back as far as I could, to get good momentum, and slap him so hard that he would have a red welt on his face for a couple of hours afterwards. Of course, he would be super mad at me, but he never hit me back (Thank God, because he was like 3 times my size and if he had hit me he probably would have knocked me unconscious.) The reason I did this to him was to try to get through his thick skull that I didn't want to even be around him. I found him to possess every male attribute that I detested. He kept coming over, though, ask for a kiss and then, inevitably I would slap the sense out of him. When Valentine's Day rolled around, I got a card sent to me while I was in class at school (everyone in class stared at me unabashedly because no one could believe that anyone would send me a Valentine's Day card, I guess), and this is what it said:

Roses are red.
My truck is blue.
You're very cute.
I think I love you.

I remember feeling nauseous and then thinking hopelessly, "Why me?"

All I can say is, thank God for the internet. For a few years now, my girlfriends and I have been sending each other funny Valentine's Day eCards. It's so great to open my email and find something funny or touching from a friend. I might send my friends, for example, something like this:


I can also get this card, which is a funny little card about Cupid's pick up lines. Hysterical.

If I sent this card to a guy I was dating, I might underscore it by saying, "Those are really my knees" (You can personalize any card you send that you get from egreetings. What can I say? I have a dry sense of humor. I can only wish I had breasts like that.)


They also offer a free 30-day trial membership, which is cool for right now (Well it's cool for any time really and after the trial membership, a full membership is only $13.99 a year.) because of upcoming Valentine's Day giving. You can also schedule any card (or cards) you want to send to arrive on any date, so you will never miss birthdays, Christmases, or special occasions (and you won't have to last-minute-shop).

When I was a kid, I used to draw faces on my chin, hang myself upside down from the couch (making sure of course that we had company), cover the upper part of my face and talk to people from my chin. Did you guys ever do that? It's silly, but you know, it was fun. This cute little card is like that. I wonder if the people who came up with it still draw faces on their chins? Maybe I'll try that again.

Valentine's Day eCard by "The Chins"
I'd love to get a card like this.

There all just loads and loads of different kinds of cards at egreetings.com. Great site.



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