4.1.07

~Upon Meditation~4th July-2005


What am I?Don't know.
Christian.

What am I?Don't know.
self-actualized
self-actualizing

What am I?Don't know.
If I say I am a Christian have I categorized myself
right into a little box
tightly bound
sealed with so many lickersticking labels
that you can't even see the box
Even me
Categories.
Everything is categories
thisputtingofthingsinboxes
Naming thingsandpeople
Is it safer that way?
Where is the object of fear?

What am I?Don't know.
Opposites
Everything opposites
goodandbad
beneficialharmful
What is good can be bad
and
the bad good
They are brought into the middle.

What am I?Don't know.
Paul said--Everything is lawful
for mebut
not everything is beneficial.
Yet I will be mastered by nothing.

What am I?Don't know.
Pain
No Pain
The Same
Pain becomes No Pain
I will be mastered by nothing
I think I understandbut
I don't.

What am I?Don't know.
I am happy
But...
All things are impermanent
All circumstances are impermanent.
Rug pulled from beneath me as I fall on my face
Unprepared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© Robyn Fenner

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9 Comments:

Anonymous Brian said...

Who are you? This is what I see. A woman who has pain, but is not pain. A woman who writes, but is not the words. A woman searching, but is not the search.

Most of all, I see a friend, who still reaches out to others. :)

January 04, 2007 7:43 AM  
Blogger Anias Nin said...

(((((Brian))))

January 04, 2007 7:55 AM  
Blogger GEL(Green-Eyed Lady) said...

(Brian's comment is beautifully loving.)

It's evident through your writing and analyzing that you're a very bright woman whose mind is constantly questioning and trying to find answers and peace. Akin to what Brian poetically wrote, it's not all up to you. Let yourself off the hook more often. Just from the short time I've read your blog, I see you trying and succeededing in changing/bettering your life.
BTW, the comments you left on my blog blew me away in a good way. How did you know I needed that TLC? Thank you A.N.

January 04, 2007 8:10 AM  
Blogger Anias Nin said...

I didn't know you needed what I wrote, but I did wake up around 3am this morning knowing that I needed to pray for someone. I didn't know who to pray for, so I just prayed and told God that he would just have to take care of the rest.

I don't know if I can attribute anything I said to you to God's influence, but what I said was totally from my heart. I was actually kind of surprised that I had that clear of an image in my mind. I guess you were meant to touch my soul today and I was meant to touch yours. Pretty cool, yes?

Whatever the case may be-you're so welcome.

January 04, 2007 8:26 AM  
Anonymous Crafty Green Poet said...

I can relate to your questioning in ths poem. Whatever you are is fine.

January 04, 2007 8:49 AM  
Blogger Poet with a Day Job said...

God, this is my age-old question. I will never stop asking myself. But one of my responses will always be "poet" whether I write or not.

January 04, 2007 3:41 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

your response to this meditation is so thought provoking. this glimpse into the chatter of the mind but also into the thoughts of your heart. thank you for sharing this.
i have to admit that i could have read your responses to this question for pages and pages and i didn't want the poem to end.

January 04, 2007 6:03 PM  
Blogger Norma said...

Makes me think about why I'm so glad not to be young. Ah, the memories.

January 06, 2007 8:29 AM  
Blogger Anias Nin said...

Do you still not question the universe around you and your place in it? What you were put here to do? You can think you have it figured out for a while, but then it may change. Life always changes. I don't think being an older person has anything to do with not experiencing new things and not questioning everything around you. The minute you stop questioning is the minute you do get old and let your mind slip into that vegetative state where you just accept everything that comes at you; everything around you as a matter of course.

Btw, I find your comment extremely condescending. Also, I'm not that young.

January 06, 2007 2:07 PM  

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