~Untitled-9th September 1999~



Why am I always


When someone is near
I want them to be away
When they are away..........

People are such fragile and contemptuous creatures
Can't trust
might get hurt else
can't love
don't know how




So many people with broken hearts [me]
that they can't mend [me]
Suffering with insecurities [me]
accosted by the violence
of being alone amongst millions.
© Robyn Fenner



Blogger Megs said...

Very moving poem...I completely relate. Thank you for sharing.

December 22, 2006 11:17 AM  
Anonymous Brian said...

So much to feel in your poem. Trust is very hard even when things seem perfect on the outside.

I hope you are in a better place right now for this holiday.

Peace and joy.

December 22, 2006 12:01 PM  
Blogger Anias Nin said...

Thanks Brian. The Holidays are really hard for me. In my psych. appt. on Wednesday, my psychiatrist was asking me what I don't like about the Holidays and I enumerated quite a list. He said, "Wow, you've really thought this out." I looked up from where I had previously been studying the topography of the carpet, surprised and said, "Well, I've had my whole life to think about it."

He then asked me if I could find something positive about the Holidays. I thought for a minute and said, "I like Christmas trees." He looked at me with that kind of I-don't-understand-you-but-I'm-trying-look and said, "Well, that's a start."

December 22, 2006 12:14 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

I'm glad you're able to express yourself through poetry. While it might not "fix" anything, it does seem to be the only way really to get at some of those terribly paradoxical features of life, such as "being alone amongst millions" as you put it so well.

Hope you have the best Christmas tree ever this year!

December 22, 2006 12:22 PM  
Blogger Dennis said...

You can mend your heart and know love again. The hard part is it’s an inside-out fix. First we have to risk love (again). We can’t just shut the door to love because we’ve been hurt and then wonder why there’s no love in our lives. We must forgive ourselves for allowing ourselves to be hurt in the first place, and then we must try very hard to love ourselves. Not ego or narcissistic love – but a real and genuine love of the Self (with a capital “S”). For some, it takes a lifetime.

December 22, 2006 12:47 PM  
Anonymous gel said...

You express your feelings so well here. Their intensity is palpable.
The layout you used for your poem works terrifically!
(That auto linky-dinky is awesome. I've not seen that before.)
Take care,
Gel (Green-Eyed Lady)

December 23, 2006 1:46 AM  

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