'Tis The Season For Digging Yourself A Hole You Can't Get Out Of

I spend so much money on Christmas gifts. I'm picky about what I buy. I'm one of those people who have to wander around every store until I find something that screams at me, "This is for...!" I can't explain how I know this, but I just do. I don't put it down to spiritual things or psychic things. It's just a thing I do.

I used to have credit cards, but I got myself into trouble with them because, for me, buying with a credit card didn't feel like I was spending real money. I guess because no actual money was given from my hand to whichever sales person I was purchasing whatever gift. That's my main problem and why I don't have credit cards any more. When my credit card debts got so out of control that I was starting to freak out, I tried to apply for one of those credit cards that offers 0% balance transfers and I was approved, amazingly. The problem was that I not only transferred all my balances over to that card, I also shopped with it, which sort of made the whole balance transfer thing pointless. I had more debt than I started out with. I have an impulse control problem. What can I say?

Now, I get all sorts of credit card offers in the mail practically screaming at me with their large bold type, "YOU ARE PRE-APPROVED!" God, you know, that is so tempting to me and sometimes I save them and compare credit cards (All the ones I get now have totally exorbitant interest rates. Even still, I'm tempted.). Again, credit cards, in my little twisted mind, do not equal spending real money, so when I've got all this stuff laid out tempting me to just call a number or go to a website because I'm "pre-approved", it's so, so hard not to give in.

I have one card now that has credit on it and I haven't used that credit in at least 6 or 8 months. This Christmas, I had no money to buy anyone any kind of gifts and I was really tempted to use that card to buy them presents because it's important to me even though the whole "Holiday Season" thing is really hard for me. I guess presents somehow make it better. I don't know. I just know I like to give them. I didn't use that credit, though. Thank God, because I have no way to pay the payments that would come just as surely as the next sunrise. I hate having debts I can't pay. You know, creditors can be as stubborn and persistent as a 2-year-old begging for a cookie.

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