18.10.06

I Keep Switching The Channel But My Memories Are On Them All

Mi Amor Para Ti No Esta Muerto
(My Love For You Is Not Dead)

How can I have touched your skin
How can I have kissed your lips
felt your breath on my cheek
laid my head on your chest and listened to your voice reverberate,touch my soul
How can I have smelled your hair
held your hand
laughed with you
watched movies in the dark with you
walked with you
memorized every line, crease and movement of your face
How is it that you can be gone?
How am I supposed to fill this gaping bleeding hole inside of me?
I can't even drive by the place where you lay without feeling that familiar emptiness
Only now, it's so much keener and
I'm afraid
of the pain.
I'm sure, that were I to go to you, all the love and all the pain I feel will overflow and spill out uncontrollable.
I just can't go to that place.
There are too many sharp rocks to climb
and they keep multiplying.

I hear your voice in my mind sometimes
and it is then that I wish
and wish
and wish
in my small, selfish and vain way
that you were really here with me
not laying silent in your grave.

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