Long story short (too late)-Pt. 4
I feel:: cranky
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: no music just now and strangely, there's nothing in my head
I left off on my last entry when Sally, D and I were going to IHOP to get food.
Ordering food was, to say the least, entertaining considering how drunk D was and how when he tried to order his food in Spanish, he totally mutilated the words.
After IHOP, Sally headed home and I drove D out to his house (BFE 'member?). I pulled up in his "driveway". I use that term loosely because what he had was not really a driveway, but more like a spot where the ground sloped up in the front of his house. He asked me to come inside. He said that he had some artwork that he wanted me to see. When I stepped inside, the whole right wall of his living room was covered in graffiti style art. I can appreciate art in almost any form, so I thought it was kind of cool. So, we sat in his living room and talked for a long time, during which, he smoked two joints. After he was good and high (God, he was so freakin' high.), he asked me if I was tired and told me that he was going to crash. He said, "You're more than welcome to crash with me if you want to." Against my better judgement, I followed him into his bedroom and curled up underneath the covers of his amazingly comfy bed. (Most guys I've ever met don't have very comfortable beds. I find that odd.) He flipped on the tv and then turned on a DVD. It was the movie 'Stealth'. He watched it for a little while. I dozed. He smoked two more joints while watching the movie, fell asleep for a little while, woke up and then took some hits off his bong. (Yes...he was amazingly good-looking, but yes...I was amazingly disappointed.) He eventually fell asleep again and I slept on and off fitfully. Eventually, around 10am, after sitting up in his bed for about 20 minutes inspecting what he had in his room, I got up and began to nose around his house. (I'm so nosey, I know.) I turned the corner from the living room into the kitchen and immediately saw 6 empty 1 gallon rum bottles lined up on the floor. I then inspected his fridge/freezer and found 2 more 1 gallon rum bottles nestled in the freezer. He actually did have quite a bit of food in his cabinets and fridge. I'll give him that. At least he wasn't living on Ramen. He woke up soon after I did, went to the freezer, procured one of the rum bottles, sat down in the chair in the living room and said, "You ever get the shakes?" Bloody hell. He started nursing his rum bottle in earnest right then and after 10 or so good slugs, put it down momentarily to roll a joint. As he pulled out his pot storage box from underneath the chair he was sitting in, he said, "I'll feel better after I get high." So, I sat on his couch and watched him alternate smoking pot and drinking rum for about an hour or so. I guess he got the munchies, because eventually he asked me if I was hungry and went to make breakfast. He made eggs, bacon and biscuits. That was nice, at least. After breakfast was over, he smoked another joint. I just sat there on the sofa watching him fade in and out for a little while, when I decided that I wanted to leave. So, I gathered my sweater and my purse, put my shoes on and drove home. That's it. A pretty limp ending to a very fun weekend. I keep telling myself that I should feel lucky that he showed his true self right up front.
I'm still disappointed, though. He's a pretty sad figure. Full-fledged alcoholic at 24? That's quite an achievement and sad, to say the very least.
I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I don't think I'll hear from him again. I could see it in his eyes when he realized that I knew what condition he was in. I don't think he wants to be around me anymore. It might be too hard for him. I told him at one point Sunday morning as I was watching him drink to get "well" that I thought he was in serious self-destruct mode because he had asked me if I thought he should slow down. Living with my dad, who is an active alcoholic, having lived for a long time with my mother who was/is an alcoholic, having both sets of my grandparents be alcoholic, I know better than to think that a person in that state will listen to anything I have to say. I knew that if I tried to go into anything with him, it will be just like talking to a wall.
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: no music just now and strangely, there's nothing in my head
I left off on my last entry when Sally, D and I were going to IHOP to get food.
Ordering food was, to say the least, entertaining considering how drunk D was and how when he tried to order his food in Spanish, he totally mutilated the words.
After IHOP, Sally headed home and I drove D out to his house (BFE 'member?). I pulled up in his "driveway". I use that term loosely because what he had was not really a driveway, but more like a spot where the ground sloped up in the front of his house. He asked me to come inside. He said that he had some artwork that he wanted me to see. When I stepped inside, the whole right wall of his living room was covered in graffiti style art. I can appreciate art in almost any form, so I thought it was kind of cool. So, we sat in his living room and talked for a long time, during which, he smoked two joints. After he was good and high (God, he was so freakin' high.), he asked me if I was tired and told me that he was going to crash. He said, "You're more than welcome to crash with me if you want to." Against my better judgement, I followed him into his bedroom and curled up underneath the covers of his amazingly comfy bed. (Most guys I've ever met don't have very comfortable beds. I find that odd.) He flipped on the tv and then turned on a DVD. It was the movie 'Stealth'. He watched it for a little while. I dozed. He smoked two more joints while watching the movie, fell asleep for a little while, woke up and then took some hits off his bong. (Yes...he was amazingly good-looking, but yes...I was amazingly disappointed.) He eventually fell asleep again and I slept on and off fitfully. Eventually, around 10am, after sitting up in his bed for about 20 minutes inspecting what he had in his room, I got up and began to nose around his house. (I'm so nosey, I know.) I turned the corner from the living room into the kitchen and immediately saw 6 empty 1 gallon rum bottles lined up on the floor. I then inspected his fridge/freezer and found 2 more 1 gallon rum bottles nestled in the freezer. He actually did have quite a bit of food in his cabinets and fridge. I'll give him that. At least he wasn't living on Ramen. He woke up soon after I did, went to the freezer, procured one of the rum bottles, sat down in the chair in the living room and said, "You ever get the shakes?" Bloody hell. He started nursing his rum bottle in earnest right then and after 10 or so good slugs, put it down momentarily to roll a joint. As he pulled out his pot storage box from underneath the chair he was sitting in, he said, "I'll feel better after I get high." So, I sat on his couch and watched him alternate smoking pot and drinking rum for about an hour or so. I guess he got the munchies, because eventually he asked me if I was hungry and went to make breakfast. He made eggs, bacon and biscuits. That was nice, at least. After breakfast was over, he smoked another joint. I just sat there on the sofa watching him fade in and out for a little while, when I decided that I wanted to leave. So, I gathered my sweater and my purse, put my shoes on and drove home. That's it. A pretty limp ending to a very fun weekend. I keep telling myself that I should feel lucky that he showed his true self right up front.
I'm still disappointed, though. He's a pretty sad figure. Full-fledged alcoholic at 24? That's quite an achievement and sad, to say the very least.
I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I don't think I'll hear from him again. I could see it in his eyes when he realized that I knew what condition he was in. I don't think he wants to be around me anymore. It might be too hard for him. I told him at one point Sunday morning as I was watching him drink to get "well" that I thought he was in serious self-destruct mode because he had asked me if I thought he should slow down. Living with my dad, who is an active alcoholic, having lived for a long time with my mother who was/is an alcoholic, having both sets of my grandparents be alcoholic, I know better than to think that a person in that state will listen to anything I have to say. I knew that if I tried to go into anything with him, it will be just like talking to a wall.
posted by Anais Nin at
12:32 PM
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