5 Weird Things About Me (Like there's only 5-that's a joke in itself)

I feel:: anxious
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: Alicia Keys~The Diary of Alicia Keys

1. I can't go out with a guy unless he has a certain scent about him. I can't describe it, but I know it when it's there and when it's not. It's not cologne, either. It's just something about body chemicals mixing with skin and other things.

2. I collect Disney movies. Not only that, but I have committed to memory almost every Disney song from those movies and can sing them on command. I sometimes burst out with one out of the blue, which makes my friends think I'm on crack. I've always wanted to sing a song for a Disney movie. Crazy dream, but a dream nonetheless.

3. I count steps. It doesn't matter where I am or how many steps I go up or down. I count them. I have memorized the number of steps in almost all of the stairways at school.

4. I hear things weird. Here's a couple of examples: One afternoon, my best friend Tanya and I were riding in my car going to get something to eat or to the mall or some such thing. Anyway, while I was driving, Tanya said, "I'm having the itch to go out." What I heard was, "I'm fixin' to hitch my toe out." That was pretty funny and now every time we go out we hitch our toes out. Another example: I was working at a restaurant with a bunch of guys and it was time to close. I was taking the trash out to the dumpster behind the restaurant. When I got outside, I saw all of the guys standing around in sort of a semi-circle. I said,"Hey, what're you guys doing?" What they said was, "We're waiting for Jack to quit." What I heard was,"We're waiting to ejaculate." This doubled me over in laughter because I immediately thought of, you know, ...circle jerk. Anyway, they thought I was high and laughed along with me, but they never let me live that one down.

5. I spontaneously talk in either Spanish, French, or English depending on my mood. The other day, when Sally, Tanya and I were at Wally World, we found these teeny little cakes that were frosted all different flavors. I picked one up and held it out to Tanya and said,"Voulez-vous un petit gateau?" Tanya looked at Sally and said,"She's doing it again." Or sometimes, when I'm in a Mexican restaurant, I'll start speaking in Spanish without realizing it and whomever I'm with will inevitably be looking at me like I've gone green and grown antennae.


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