Sleepiness and Laziness
I feel:: drained
I slept for most of the day yesterday. I had taken some Benadryl Severe Allergy and Sinus Headache medication Sunday night because of my allergies. All I wanted to do was crash and sleep that heavy medicated sleep. The strangest thing happened, though, about 2 hours into my sleep. I woke up feeling like I needed to twitch. I felt like I needed to flex various muscles. Actually all of them, but I couldn't manage to flex every single muscle at one time. I lay in bed for the longest time flexing and releasing, flexing and releasing. I thought that might give me some relief, but it didn't. The urge just got stronger. I felt like I could have run around my block a couple of times. Thirty or so minutes went by and I was still laying in bed-flex, release,flex, release. I guess I just fell asleep after awhile, I don't remember it, but I do remember waking up the next day.
I got up on Monday at about 11am. I felt exhausted. There was so much I wanted to do that day. I needed to do laundry and put up the clean laundry that I washed several weeks ago. There are so many clothes in the floor of my bedroom that I have to kick them aside just to get from the door to the bed. This is not how I was raised. It's also not how I live when I live alone. Living with my dad makes me feel safer in some respects: I know that there will always be food to eat; there will be electricity; there will be gas; I will always have gas to put in my car; I will always have a place to live. Living with my dad makes me more depressed, though. Well, maybe not more so, but in a different way. I can't explain it.
I also wanted to mail off my broken cell phone yesterday. It fell out of my purse about a month ago when I was getting out of my car, going into a job interview. I had it in an outside pocket and when I slung my purse over my shoulder, it just slipped out and crashed onto the concrete parking lot. I've dropped it before and nothing was wrong with it, so I cursed my clumsiness and picked it up. While I was putting it back in my purse (on the inside this time), I realized that it had broken. It was a flippy phone and the flip top was just hanging on by one side for dear life. I also couldn't turn it on. I have insurance on it, so I filed a claim and the company sent me a new (read: reconditioned) phone. I thought it was kind of shitty that I pay every month for insurance on my phone and then they tell me that I have to pay 50 dollars for a reconditioned phone. I have to have a cell phone, because my dad disconnected our landline service. A couple of months ago, he was having one of his bad days and he dad been really cranky and testy towards me all day. So, I tried to stay out of his way and spent most of the day in my room. He decided that he was going to lay down in his favorite recliner sometime that afternoon to take a nap. Right as he was falling asleep, the phone rang. The next thing I heard was the phone cord being jerked out of the wall and a blue streak of curse words. The next day, he called and had the service disconnected. I don't know what the difference is between the house phone ringing and his cell phone ringing when he is asleep,but whatever.
I was also going to make a trip to the post office to get a Federal Tax form. I got the state tax form last Tuesday when I was running around with Tanya. I didn't work last year, but I thought I might be eligible for the low-income tax credit. Well, as I was sitting at my computer contemplating doing all this, I realized that all I wanted to do was go back to bed. I did and I slept for about an hour. Tanya called and woke me up. She asked,"What are you doing?" Sleepily, I groaned and said,"I was sleeping." Then, she said,"It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon! Why are you still in bed?" I found this comment to be funny because she sleeps as much as I do, often missing classes to do it. She said she wanted to know if I wanted to go eat with her. I told her I didn't have any money, so she said she would go by herself and that I should call her later. Before we got off the phone, I told her that I had been really groggy all day and that I figured it was because of the Benadryl I had taken the night before. (I realize that this seems weird, because Benadryl is only supposed to last like 4 hours, but it always makes me feel groggy long after it is supposed to have quit working. There's nothing like being groggy and sneezing your head off.) She told me that the reason I was probably feeling that way was that I hadn't taken any Prozac for two days. I realized that she was most likely right about that. I told her that I needed to go to the pharmacy and pick up my prescription that I had called in on Friday. She admonished me and told me to get my ass out of bed and go do that. I figured that was fair, since I do the same thing to her when she runs out of her meds and neglects to go get them refilled. So, we said goodbye and I got up, got dressed, and headed out the door. I called Tanya back and was all,"You did it! You got me out of bed!" She just laughed at me and told me I was crazy. I asked her if she wanted to meet me at Books A Million after I went to the pharmacy so we could hang out and have coffee. She said she wanted to, but she had to take her mom to work. At this point, my mood, which had been excellent, fell drastically. I really, really didn't want to be alone all afternoon, but I told her that was cool and we got off the phone.
I sat at my kitchen table for a few minutes and then I called another friend of mine, E. She was really surprised to hear from me. We haven't seen each other for a few months. (She got a boyfriend, I got a boyfriend.) Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and I asked her if she wanted to run around with me for a few hours. She said that would be cool, so I left to go and pick her up. After that, we went to Starbuck's to get coffee. (I really needed some coffee at this point.) When, we got there, I got a Caramel Mocha and we sat down at a table. We talked about our sex lives. Girl stuff. Then, one of the barista's yelled out,"I have a [enter name of coffee drink here] for anyone who wants it!" So, the obviouslygayman got up and was all,"You mean it's free?" The barista said,"Yes, we are training, so this one is free." I told E that I should have waited on getting my drink. I could have gotten one for free. Then, a few minutes later, the same barista yells again,"I have a [coffee drink here] for anyone who wants it!" So, E got up and got it from the bar. Why does this kind of thing always happen to me? I never get anything for free and I never win anything. Dammit. So, as we were talking, she told me about her first experience of putting a condom on a man. She said that her and her boyfriend (who is 41, she's 24) were having a problem with their sex life because he ejaculated too soon, so they got these condoms that were supposed to help him go longer. She said the first time they used one, she put it on him and then proceeded to give him oral sex. Then, she realized that she had put the condom on inside out. She got all that stuff from the inside of the condom in her mouth and it made her mouth all numb. She said she was laughing and trying to explain to him what she'd done, but she couldn't talk all that well because her mouth was so numb. So, I'm sitting at the table trying not to guffaw and snort coffee out of my nose.
After that, we went over to Arky Barky. They still had the Teacup Poodle I want. I still can't afford to get her, though. E told me that she had been looking for a dog for her son for awhile, so she got a business card from Rebecca, who is the same girl who helped me last time I was there. She's really sweet. We walked around and looked at puppies for a little longer and then we decided to drive to Tanya's. Tanya had told me earlier that she had to take her mom to work at 6pm. I looked at my phone and it was right around 6, so we started driving. We got there, and Tanya wasn't there, so I called her. She just about bit my head off. She was all,"Why are you at my house? I told you that I had to take my mom to work." I was a bit taken aback by this, so I told her since I was already in NLR, that I would just come to her. Then she said,"Well, I guess I can just turn around and come back there." I told her not to, but that I would drive back to NLR and we could just meet at Books A Million. We got there about 20 minutes later and found her looking at the new fiction section. It was about 6:30pm when we got there, but I didn't realize it. I don't wear a watch because I keep losing them, so I just look at my phone for the time. We walked around for awhile and then I looked at my phone for the time. It was 7:19pm and I had told Ryk I would be at his house at 8pm so we could watch "24" together. It's his favorite show. This has become sort of a routine of ours. I had to take E back to Benton,which is 30 minutes away from LR and then drive back, which would take another 30 minutes. I knew I was going to be late, so I called Ryk and told him what was going on. He was cool with that.
I slept for most of the day yesterday. I had taken some Benadryl Severe Allergy and Sinus Headache medication Sunday night because of my allergies. All I wanted to do was crash and sleep that heavy medicated sleep. The strangest thing happened, though, about 2 hours into my sleep. I woke up feeling like I needed to twitch. I felt like I needed to flex various muscles. Actually all of them, but I couldn't manage to flex every single muscle at one time. I lay in bed for the longest time flexing and releasing, flexing and releasing. I thought that might give me some relief, but it didn't. The urge just got stronger. I felt like I could have run around my block a couple of times. Thirty or so minutes went by and I was still laying in bed-flex, release,flex, release. I guess I just fell asleep after awhile, I don't remember it, but I do remember waking up the next day.
I got up on Monday at about 11am. I felt exhausted. There was so much I wanted to do that day. I needed to do laundry and put up the clean laundry that I washed several weeks ago. There are so many clothes in the floor of my bedroom that I have to kick them aside just to get from the door to the bed. This is not how I was raised. It's also not how I live when I live alone. Living with my dad makes me feel safer in some respects: I know that there will always be food to eat; there will be electricity; there will be gas; I will always have gas to put in my car; I will always have a place to live. Living with my dad makes me more depressed, though. Well, maybe not more so, but in a different way. I can't explain it.
I also wanted to mail off my broken cell phone yesterday. It fell out of my purse about a month ago when I was getting out of my car, going into a job interview. I had it in an outside pocket and when I slung my purse over my shoulder, it just slipped out and crashed onto the concrete parking lot. I've dropped it before and nothing was wrong with it, so I cursed my clumsiness and picked it up. While I was putting it back in my purse (on the inside this time), I realized that it had broken. It was a flippy phone and the flip top was just hanging on by one side for dear life. I also couldn't turn it on. I have insurance on it, so I filed a claim and the company sent me a new (read: reconditioned) phone. I thought it was kind of shitty that I pay every month for insurance on my phone and then they tell me that I have to pay 50 dollars for a reconditioned phone. I have to have a cell phone, because my dad disconnected our landline service. A couple of months ago, he was having one of his bad days and he dad been really cranky and testy towards me all day. So, I tried to stay out of his way and spent most of the day in my room. He decided that he was going to lay down in his favorite recliner sometime that afternoon to take a nap. Right as he was falling asleep, the phone rang. The next thing I heard was the phone cord being jerked out of the wall and a blue streak of curse words. The next day, he called and had the service disconnected. I don't know what the difference is between the house phone ringing and his cell phone ringing when he is asleep,but whatever.
I was also going to make a trip to the post office to get a Federal Tax form. I got the state tax form last Tuesday when I was running around with Tanya. I didn't work last year, but I thought I might be eligible for the low-income tax credit. Well, as I was sitting at my computer contemplating doing all this, I realized that all I wanted to do was go back to bed. I did and I slept for about an hour. Tanya called and woke me up. She asked,"What are you doing?" Sleepily, I groaned and said,"I was sleeping." Then, she said,"It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon! Why are you still in bed?" I found this comment to be funny because she sleeps as much as I do, often missing classes to do it. She said she wanted to know if I wanted to go eat with her. I told her I didn't have any money, so she said she would go by herself and that I should call her later. Before we got off the phone, I told her that I had been really groggy all day and that I figured it was because of the Benadryl I had taken the night before. (I realize that this seems weird, because Benadryl is only supposed to last like 4 hours, but it always makes me feel groggy long after it is supposed to have quit working. There's nothing like being groggy and sneezing your head off.) She told me that the reason I was probably feeling that way was that I hadn't taken any Prozac for two days. I realized that she was most likely right about that. I told her that I needed to go to the pharmacy and pick up my prescription that I had called in on Friday. She admonished me and told me to get my ass out of bed and go do that. I figured that was fair, since I do the same thing to her when she runs out of her meds and neglects to go get them refilled. So, we said goodbye and I got up, got dressed, and headed out the door. I called Tanya back and was all,"You did it! You got me out of bed!" She just laughed at me and told me I was crazy. I asked her if she wanted to meet me at Books A Million after I went to the pharmacy so we could hang out and have coffee. She said she wanted to, but she had to take her mom to work. At this point, my mood, which had been excellent, fell drastically. I really, really didn't want to be alone all afternoon, but I told her that was cool and we got off the phone.
I sat at my kitchen table for a few minutes and then I called another friend of mine, E. She was really surprised to hear from me. We haven't seen each other for a few months. (She got a boyfriend, I got a boyfriend.) Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and I asked her if she wanted to run around with me for a few hours. She said that would be cool, so I left to go and pick her up. After that, we went to Starbuck's to get coffee. (I really needed some coffee at this point.) When, we got there, I got a Caramel Mocha and we sat down at a table. We talked about our sex lives. Girl stuff. Then, one of the barista's yelled out,"I have a [enter name of coffee drink here] for anyone who wants it!" So, the obviouslygayman got up and was all,"You mean it's free?" The barista said,"Yes, we are training, so this one is free." I told E that I should have waited on getting my drink. I could have gotten one for free. Then, a few minutes later, the same barista yells again,"I have a [coffee drink here] for anyone who wants it!" So, E got up and got it from the bar. Why does this kind of thing always happen to me? I never get anything for free and I never win anything. Dammit. So, as we were talking, she told me about her first experience of putting a condom on a man. She said that her and her boyfriend (who is 41, she's 24) were having a problem with their sex life because he ejaculated too soon, so they got these condoms that were supposed to help him go longer. She said the first time they used one, she put it on him and then proceeded to give him oral sex. Then, she realized that she had put the condom on inside out. She got all that stuff from the inside of the condom in her mouth and it made her mouth all numb. She said she was laughing and trying to explain to him what she'd done, but she couldn't talk all that well because her mouth was so numb. So, I'm sitting at the table trying not to guffaw and snort coffee out of my nose.
After that, we went over to Arky Barky. They still had the Teacup Poodle I want. I still can't afford to get her, though. E told me that she had been looking for a dog for her son for awhile, so she got a business card from Rebecca, who is the same girl who helped me last time I was there. She's really sweet. We walked around and looked at puppies for a little longer and then we decided to drive to Tanya's. Tanya had told me earlier that she had to take her mom to work at 6pm. I looked at my phone and it was right around 6, so we started driving. We got there, and Tanya wasn't there, so I called her. She just about bit my head off. She was all,"Why are you at my house? I told you that I had to take my mom to work." I was a bit taken aback by this, so I told her since I was already in NLR, that I would just come to her. Then she said,"Well, I guess I can just turn around and come back there." I told her not to, but that I would drive back to NLR and we could just meet at Books A Million. We got there about 20 minutes later and found her looking at the new fiction section. It was about 6:30pm when we got there, but I didn't realize it. I don't wear a watch because I keep losing them, so I just look at my phone for the time. We walked around for awhile and then I looked at my phone for the time. It was 7:19pm and I had told Ryk I would be at his house at 8pm so we could watch "24" together. It's his favorite show. This has become sort of a routine of ours. I had to take E back to Benton,which is 30 minutes away from LR and then drive back, which would take another 30 minutes. I knew I was going to be late, so I called Ryk and told him what was going on. He was cool with that.
posted by Anais Nin at
1:43 AM
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