6.3.05

Speaking Of Silliness~Christian Pick-Up Lines

I feel:: content

I spent some time with Ryk's kids last night and they were being silly. Xiana was biting her nails and I told her to stop and she scowled at me and kept doing it. I told her again to stop. I said,"That's not ladylike. It's a bad habit." So, she turned to where she wasn't facing me and continued to bite her nails. I picked her up off the sofa and sat her in my lap and asked her,"Don't you want to be a pretty lady when you grow up?" She said,"No!" I said,"Do you want to be an ugly lady?" She said,"No! I'm a boy!" Thus ensued the silliness and more than an hour of laughing, tickling and giggling.

It reminded me of something that my friend Alisha's little boy, Noah, once said to me. He was describing an animal to me and said,"It's got black fur and a million legs and it's this long (He was standing before me with his arms outstretched as wide as they could go)!" I said,"Where can you find this animal?" He said,"Under California." I said,"What else can you find under California?" He looked at me with a very serious and sober look and said matter of factly,"Oh, you can find LOTS of bad stuff under California!" I had to agree with him on this point.

Here's something I found that I thought was really funny considering that I am a Christian. I think I've actually heard some of these before. ;)

Christian Pick Up Lines
55) Honesty is like a kiss on the lips...and baby i never lie (Proverbs 24:26 "He who gives a right answer kisses the lips. ")

54) Hey baby, you wanna take the church van for a spin?(Heard it.)

53) I'm not like those other (insert your church name here) guys.(Definitely heard it.)

52) Has anyone ever told you, your eyes are like doves and your neck like the tower of David?

51) Excuse me, is this pew taken?(Heard it.)

50) I don't speak in tongues, but i kiss that way.

49) God broke the mold when He made your sweet face.(Heard it.)

48) Hello, will you be my shulamite?

47) Boy, you've really been a visual minister to me!(Heard it.)

46) Do you know the difference between making out and a sermon? ... No? Wanna go to church with me?

45) Hi, my name's will...God's will.

44) [check the person's shirt tag] "Just as i thought... made in heaven."

43) Hey, need a ride to church?(Heard it.)

42) I'd pick you over Satan any day!

41) God was showing off when he made you.

40) I'm pretty flexible. i don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date.(Heard it and was so disbelieving as to think he was joking.)

39) I would like to pray with you.(Heard it A LOT.)

38) You know Jesus? Me too!(Definitely A LOT.)

37) No, i'm not coveting, i intend to make you mine!

36) How about a hug, sister?(This is a cheap attempt to cop a feel. That's why I always give sideways hugs.)

35) Do you need help carrying your Bible? it looks heavy.

34) Christians don't shake hands! Christians gotta hug!(Same here.)

33) Are you cold? Eccleseasties 4:11

32) Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?(Heard it.)

31) What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a Bible study?(I got this one a lot, especially since I was the bible study teacher. lol)

30) The Word says "give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry". How about dinner?

29) You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.(This is another cheap attempt, but this one is for sex.)

28) You want to come over and watch the 10 commandments tonight?

27) Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

26) Would you happen to know a christian woman that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?

25) Nice braclet. What would Jesus date? i mean, do?

24) Do you believe in divine appointment?(Heard it.)

23) Have you ever tried praying at a drive in movie before?

22) Excuse me, i believe one of your ribs belongs to me.

21) My friend told me to come and meet you. He said that you are a really nice person. I think you know Him. Jesus, yeah thats His name. (Heard a version of this. It was more like,"Jesus is your friend? Wow! Me too! In fact He told me to come and talk to you!)

20) Friends listen to amazing grace in the dark.

19) Yeah, I predicted david over goliath.

18) You know they say that you have never really dated until you have dated a Christian.

17) What do you think paul meant when he said, "Greet one another with a holy kiss."? (1 Cor 16:20b nkjv)

16) You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa. (Do not get this confused!)

15) Nice Bible. (Heard this too, mostly in church.)

14) Before tonight, I never believed in predestination.

13) Do you think "Ask, and it shall be given you." is to be taken literally? (Heard this a lot.)

12) I practice our mission to "love one another" to the fullest extent. (Heard this one too.)

11) God told me to come talk to you. (I've heard this one the most.)

10) How do you feel about "it is more blessed to give than to receive"?

9) I think we should celebrate with a "love offering" tonight.

8) When I saw you, I knew the true meaning of "rejoice and be glad"!

7) I didn't know angels flew this low!

6) Excuse me, but can i drinkith from your cupith?

5) I think i feel the Holy Sprit. No. Wait. I believe that may be you this time.

4) If eve was tempted by an apple than you must be my fruit!

3) That halo matches perfect with your eyes.

2) I must be dead and looking at the angel that is going to take me to heaven!

1) You put the "cute" back in persecution!

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