Two Poems

I feel:: accomplished
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: something by Sarah McLaughlan

~Sleepy~
Scarves floating like ghosts
Twirling and twirling
tickling my knees
Silken pink slippers
playing gypsy dancer
Gossamer wings
to fly and flit
peltals waiting on the wind
floating softly
fairy boats on the water
Dappled sunlight
playing warm on white stones
mermaid sunning
blue-green wetscales
and Ophelia's petal-hair
Siren songs
sing sweetly
of Secret Gardens
follow blackbird
to the iron-keyed door
where swings are twining vines
swallowed in sweet scent
of pollen bees buzzing slowly
Leprechauns have houses of gold
where the rainbow ends~
-------------------------------------

~Mother~
I wondered why that spot inside of me was so vulnerable.
That secret place I had tucked away in a far corner of my heart.
Growing dusty in the attic of my mind.
That traveler's trunk of insecurity,
locked securely and strapped tightly.
Yet I walked into your the room of your mind,
into the dim interior of your idiosyncrasies,
and you opened that rusty trunk as if it had never been locked.
I know... I know...
I told myself over and over,
that I am not those things you think,
not those things you say.
I bled everyday as the lies I swallowed became razors in my throat.
Working their purpose
destroying me from the inside out,
bleeding away all of my self-esteem
all of my security,
all of what is me.
I was sick unto death and my hatred of you grew and grew
until it became its own entity.
Living and breathing,
the stench of the cesspool of vileness it exhaled
morbidly intoxicating,
replicating,
doting on its horrid spawn,
cultivating more and more
of me.
And building upon itself seared my vision
white hot with insurmountable rage
and lashing out wildy in the end,
uncontrollable,
I imagined that you were dead.
That I had cut you to pieces
and left you in a quivering, bloody heap.
And then I vomited up all of the sickness
and all of the lies
you fostered
that I believed
and I felt relieved.~