7.4.04

I Feel Sad and Foolish For Feeling Sad

I feel:: crushed

My dad came in from drinking at the VFW and he said that he stopped outside to talk to the lady and her kids across the street and they told him that they wanted to invite a friend to church on Easter Sunday and he said,"If I don't go to church with you will I still be your friend?" He said that she was kind of put off by that, but he probably meant to offend her. I said,"I was kind of hoping that you would go with me." He said,"Why should I break my habit and besides, I don't have a suit." The look on his face saidd that he would rather scrape his back with barbed wire. I was really hoping that he would go with me. It's not the fact that he's not going to church with me that disappoints me. It's the fact that he doesn't want to be with me on a day that is special to me. It kind of makes me feel like I'm not special to him. I guess I know that's not true, but sometimes I can't help the way I feel. He hurt my feelings, but I can't tell him that he did because he would just think that I'm foolish and I sort of feel foolish for being hurt.

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