29.8.03

Weirded Out And Crying To 80's Love Songs

I feel:: aggravated

Well, I'm sitting here watching the 100 greatest love songs on VH1 and I'm crying like a big baby. Well, the waterworks didn't start until I heard Open Arms by Journey. God, I just love that song, of course it wouldn't be the same if Steve Perry wasn't singing it. Then, they played My Heart Will Go On from the movie Titanic. That's actually the ONLY song I have ever liked that Celine Dion has done. I was sort of surprised when I started crying. I'm not depressed and I'm not lonely. I guess those particular songs just touch my heart.

On a completely different subject, I watched this documentary on Cinemax last night (no, it wasn't soft core porn). It was about the terrorist group called Hezbollah. They filmed people in Lebanon, Pakistan, Iraq, and Afghanistan. I had no idea that it was that widespread. They have their own schools even. They filmed these little children in school chanting,"We are the sons of Allah. May Allah bless Hezbollah." The children might have been 7 or so. They also filmed in two different schools for girls, where the girls had their faces completely covered with their veils. One 13 year old girl gave and interview and said that she wanted to have many children in order to do her duty to Allah and to Hezbollah. She said that she wanted all her sons to be martyrs for Allah. Warriors. I saw many little boys named Osama. Their parents said that they named their little boys Osama because they wanted them to be true warriors and true Muslims just like Osama bin Laden. Also, I watched this leader of Hezbollah say that their community of followers (all of the people of Hezbollah) were the same before and the same after September 11, 2001. He said they were called terrorists before and terrorists after. That they would not bow,"to the great Satan that is America". Then he raised his hand and led thousands and thousands of people in a "Death to America" chant. This other older man was talking about Osama bin Laden like he was some sort of saint.

There were also some other men who, on this certain day (it was like a holiday of sorts) all get together in the streets and let other men cut their heads with sharp knives in order to show their loyalty to Allah and to Hezbollah. It was macabre. Some of them were bleeding so profusely that they just passed out in the street. What was even weirder was that there were all these people lining the streets, eating popcorn and ice cream and things, like it was all just normal, or like some sort of parade or carnival.

I was horrified. I kept trying to tell myself that what is normal to me is not normal to some other people and I shouldn't judge them for their religious beliefs, but I feel personally threatened by them. I listened to some teachers sermonizing about living for Allah and it was so eerily familiar to what I've heard in church, except that there was the added bit about how every one who is not a Muslim is lower than dirt. This one woman said that every child is born a Muslim until their unbelieving parents change them. She also said that Allah has said that he could not make everyone a Muslim, else there would be no one left to go to hell. I thought to myself: First of all, if Allah did make every one a Muslim from birth and he is all-powerful as they say he is, what kind of god would he be if mere mortals could take away their "salvation" or their chance at getting into heaven. I also thought, if Allah is all powerful, is there anything he can't do? The statement,"Allah has said that he can't make everyone a Muslim." is saying that Allah is not the omnipotent god she claims him to be. Also, I thought, would a merciful god make hell just for humans and intend to send people there? I can't believe that. They say that Allah is all merciful and then talk about him sending people to hell. That's a bit of a contradiction to say the least. Needless, to say, I'm a bit freaked out by all the brainwashing I witnessed just on that documentary. I am horrified by all the anger and violence toward America and Americans. It actually made me think of the story of Isaac and Ishmael. In the scriptures, I've read that Isaac and Ishmael, though both Abraham's sons, only Isaac was the child of promise. It says that Ishmael became the father of the Arab nation. I don't know why I thought about that, but I did.

On another completely different note, I watched the Mtv VMA's last night. Evanesence didn't win a thing, to my dissapointment. I was sort of let down by it. It seems to get more boring and more unoriginal every year. Although, I did like the whole "Like A Virgin" rendition with Madonna coming up out of the cake as the groom this time instead of the bride, like she did 20 years ago. I thought that was interesting, though I wasn't too impressed with the kissing and fondling. I thought they did that just for shock value.

Anyway, I'm outta here. I've got to go and watch Alisha's kids today.

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