Perception skews from lack of sleep. Did you know that?

I feel:: sleepy
What song is on a loop in my head right now:: If snippets of varying choruses of songs I know that keep running through my head count as music, then I'm listening to Type O Negative right now.

Ok, so, I got up at 2:30. Stayed up and then went to get my hair colored. My appt. was for 9am. I had to stop at the gas station across the street from the salon to get a soda and something to eat in case my blood sugar dropped. I was feeling the warning signs, so I figured it would be better safe than sorry. So, I walk up to the counter and this bald Arabian man starts talking to me and asking me all sorts of questions about myself. Things like am I married. Where do I live. Do I have kids. All the while I'm trying to be as vague as possible and still be polite I'm thinking,"This guy should wear a pin that says,'Hello, I'm your new stalker'. Right before I leave he says bye to me, but I have my back turned to him in my attempt to make a hasty, but smooth retreat.

So, I get to the salon at 9. Get the hair done. Nothing weird happens there. I left at 11:30. I drove to Fordyce to get my car worked on. I got to Fordyce at 1:00pm. As I'm getting out of my car in the parking lot, I can see my dad's friend who is the owner of the car dealership standing on the showroom floor looking at me. When I walk in, he says loudly and with the best astonished good ole boy tone of voice,"Yor haud looks lak it's on far! Whut in th' worrrld have you dun to yer hair?" I say very politely, " I had it colored right before I came here." I got no reply, just a laugh. Well, it took the service dept until 3:30 to finish my car. So, afterwards, I went to Sonic on the main drag in Fordyce to get something to eat. Nothing much weird happened there.

I started my drive back to Little Rock. Between Fordyce and Sheridan, I started to get really sleepy and had to force myself to stay awake. So, when I got to Sheridan, I went into a convenient store and bought two of the Starbuck's Double Shot Espressos. I drank one and felt a little peppier. By the time I got to Benton, I felt just fine. Tanya called me while I was driving through Benton and said that she was going to eat dinner with her mother and after that she wanted to get some coffee with me at Books A Million in North Little Rock. So, I'm all,"That's fine. Just call me when you get through eating with your mom." On the way home, I started to crash, so I drank the other Starbuck's Espresso. So, that was four shots of Espresso.
I met Tanya at about 7pm at Books A Million where I got a Grande Iced Latte, which had two shots of Espresso in it. That was six for me in the space of about 3 hours, with virtually no food. Yeah, I was speeding my ass off. So, this is where the day starts to get really weird. This is kind of gross, but you know what happens to your body when you drink lots and lots of coffee? Well, when I drink lots and lots of coffee, my body decides to elimate everything en masse. Coffee should be marketed as an intestinal cleanser.

So, I'm in the ladies.. ahem taking care of business,when I hear a woman and her little girl of about 2 come into the restroom. They then proceeded to have a conversation that was a bit like the "Who's on First?" bit. The lady says to the girl,"Mommy has to go potty, so stand right there and don't touch anything. No, don't touch that. That's dirty. Can you say dirty?" I hear the little girl's small voice say,"dirty". The woman began again,"Mommy has to potty, so you stand right there and don't move. No, don't touch that. That's garbage. Can you say garbage?" The little voice responded,"garbage". And again,"Mommy has to go potty, so you stand right there and don't touch anything. No, that's not a ball that's garbage. Can you say garbage?" The little voice says,"garbage". This went on for another good ten minutes or so. I thought to myself,"Is it me, or is this really weird?" Finally, business was concluded in the ladies and I came out. I told Tanya that I had to get something to eat, as I was speeding my ass off, I would probably get nauseous from having so much caffeine and not enough food. So, she said that she would go with me to get something to eat even though she had already eaten.

I drove around aimlessly. Tanya said,"Where do you want to go?" I said,"I don't know. You pick." She said,"I'm not the one eating." I said,"I know, but I can't think right now, so you pick, and I'll drive." We wound up going to this little restaurant called The San Francisco Bread Co. It was pretty good. The weird thing was, while I was standing in line trying to concentrate on reading the menu ( my blood sugar had plummeted by this time and I had had way too much caffeine and not nearly enough sleep, so consequently, I was highly disoriented and could only concentrate momentarily and only on one thing at a time,), Tanya disappeared. I turned around and she was gone. I got my water and went to the front door thinking maybe she stepped outside for a smoke. No Tanya. So, I sat down at a table and thought to myself,"I've been walking around all night in Books A Million thinking that Tanya was with me. I've been driving around thinking Tanya was with me. I've been talking to myself, she never was there. But if that's true, then how did I get here?" At that moment, everything was so surreal, like I wasn't in my body, but watching it from a distance. Then, Tanya emerged from the ladies. I was so relieved. I felt like I had been holding my breath. I told her what I had just thought and she looked at me like I was crazy and laughed.

So, yeah, lack of sleep, lack of food, plus too many espressos will cause a shift in perception. I just wanted to state that for the record.


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